Finding God in a Taco

It has finally happened. For years I’ve searched through meditation and yoga, spritual books, the practice of the seven spirtual laws of effective converts. I’ve dipped various body parts into cults, prayer circles, rebirthing, ear candling, talking in tongues and even tried regular church attendance, but to no avail. God remained as elusive to me as a local celebrity (you KNOW they live in your suburb – so why don’t you EVER SEE them?).

Until Saturday night. I found God. It was a 40 minute drive away from my front door.

People will try to tell you God is within you, that you don’t need to search further than the tip of your nose to get enlightenment. They try to tell you that God is a simple breath away, all you have to do is believe, wish hard, clap your hands, twist your foot behind your head and bingo, there God will be. Well I can tell you now, it’s complete rubbish. I know because I found God on Saturday night and it was nowhere near my nose.

Yes, I found God. I know you will want to know where, so I am going to tell you the secret, because I’m a generous kind of gal and these sorts of secrets should not be kept. It was in a neat restaurant in Swan St called Mexicali Rose. But don’t just go there expecting God to be sitting at the bar sipping a marguerita. It’s not quite as simple as that. Go there, find a quiet table, refuse the offered menu and just order a…

CHOCOLATE TACO

Oh yes. Chocoloate Taco – just you wait till it arrives, all crispy chocolate shell filled with warm brownies, mooshy chocolate mousse and swimming in hot choc fudge sauce with sides of cream and icecream. 

Now eat it. Slowly. Gentle spoonful by gentle spoonful. Suck on the brownie. Squish the mousse over your tongue. Lick the sauce off the spoon and go for another bite. And if you value your relationships DON’T SHARE IT WITH ANYONE.

By the time you’ve hit your third mouthful I can guarantee you will be having a metaphysical crises. From there it is an easy transition to the kind of existential bliss Indian yogi’s have to spend 30 years meditating to achieve. I can categorically say it was the singular most wonderful spiritual experience I have ever had.

And for those wondering, yes, it was absolutely better than sex. Equivalent to 6 multiple orgasms in a row. I’m going back for more. But this time I’m going on my own. I might even push it and have TWO.

Adious Amigos

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